POWERLINE ETIQUETTE
A tongue-in-cheek look at Powerline WorkBy CD Thayer and other Power Linemen
SEE ALSO: POWERLINE LAWS
*(PLEASE READ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER BELOW)
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Seldom go up a pole without all of the proper tools in his tool belt and holster . Should you find yourself up the pole without a tool that you need, you should immediately holler, "Who used my *&$%^#@ (tool) and didn’t put it back?!!" This will give the impression that you intended to take the tool up with you from the start and someone else is to blame for it not being there. Keep in mind that this same tactic can be used even if you just don’t feel like carrying the tool up with you, or just like to work your grunt a little extra, but don’t want to let on that you ain’t packing your weight. Caution, about twice a day is about all you’ll get out of this maneuver, least the grunts start catching on to it.. Should you find yourself up the pole without a tool that you need, you should immediately holler, "Who used my *&$%^#@ (tool) and didn’t put it back?!!" This will give the impression that you intended to take the tool up with you from the start and someone else is to blame for it not being there. Keep in mind that this same tactic can be used even if you just don’t feel like carrying the tool up with you, or just like to work your grunt a little extra, but don’t want to let on that you ain’t packing your weight. Caution, about twice a day is about all you’ll get out of this maneuver, least the grunts start catching on to it.
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Never show panic when a large arc or explosion occurs. This one’s a tough one. Your body and brain will work against you. If you’re on the ground, your feet may start running without you, your mouth may fly open and extremely "un- professional" sounds may spew forth. If you’re on the pole, your head may try to slip through the small space between your collarbone and your shoulder blades, ...and may even succeed. This is ok. There’s not much you can do about it. If, for instance, you were on the ground in a substation and ricocheted off of the chain link fence leaving a bulge in the wire, just tell everyone that you were trying to get back far enough to get a good view of the action. Don’t say this too soon after the event or it will come out in a shaky high-pitched tone and they’ll be on to you. If they give you any crap about that bulge in the wire fence, tell them that you are sure that there was a gate there before, and you don’t know why somebody moved it. If they don’t buy that, tell them it’s a good place for one anyway.
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Always talk on the radio in a calm pleasant voice . When you take a look at this one, it appears at first that it’s a piece of cake. However, there may be times when it won’t be so easy. Take for example, you just fell a tree into the line, it’s laying there arcin’ and sparkin’ and raising hell with about a million amps going to ground with no sign of letting up. By the time you get to the radio, you’ve had time to build up an overdose of adrenaline. Adrenaline is one of those "gottcha" chemicals that sneak up on you. You won’t even notice that you’ve "O-D'ed" (unless the fabric in your undergarment is damp) until you start to talk on the radio. Then, BAM, it’ll hit you and turn your calm, cool radio voice into something about ten octaves higher than normal. Here’s what you can do. Haul buns over to the radio (your feet should have this started already) and grab the microphone. Instead of keying up and starting to talk, mutter quietly under you breath "dern, dern, dern, dangit dangit" (or some other incoherent gibberish), and then remind yourself that you were looking for a job when you found this one. Then, when you have yourself sort of under control again, calmly tell the dispatcher that he’s "... got a problem out here and would he like for you to take care of it for him?"Always talk on the radio in a calm pleasant voice. When you take a look at this one, it appears at first that it’s a piece of cake. However, there may be times when it won’t be so easy. Take for example, you just fell a tree into the line, it’s laying there arcin’ and sparkin’ and raising hell with about a million amps going to ground with no sign of letting up. By the time you get to the radio, you’ve had time to build up an overdose of adrenaline. Adrenaline is one of those "gottcha" chemicals that sneak up on you. You won’t even notice that you’ve "O-D'ed" (unless the fabric in your undergarment is damp) until you start to talk on the radio. Then, BAM, it’ll hit you and turn your calm, cool radio voice into something about ten octaves higher than normal. Here’s what you can do. Haul buns over to the radio (your feet should have this started already) and grab the microphone. Instead of keying up and starting to talk, mutter quietly under you breath "dern, dern, dern, dangit dangit" (or some other incoherent gibberish), and then remind yourself that you were looking for a job when you found this one. Then, when you have yourself sort of under control again, calmly tell the dispatcher that he’s "... got a problem out here and would he like for you to take care of it for him?"
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Always be aware of his surroundings. OK, this one covers a lot of territory. Your "surroundings" change very quickly. Let's say you're in the crew readyroom, shootin' the bull with the guys, and having a good time...when the Big Boss walks in. You may not see him enter the room. If your pole buddies see him come in, they may or may not TELL YOU that he has entered the room. (Chances are better than not that they won't). So, you're into this big ol' story that makes the Big Boss appear less than admirable. You go on and on with your story waiting for a response from your buddies, but they seem to have suddenly become both deaf and dumb and show no response at all....You've only got one chance at salvation here. DO NOT LOOK AROUND! If you have a cup of coffee, take a sip. If you have a "spit cup", use it quickly. In other words, take a very short pause, and then add "...and I tell you what Boys, he's a hell of a man and I wouldn't work for ANYONE ELSE!". With your story now complete and without recognizing that the Big Boss is present, calmly walk to the material storage room or wherever the locknuts are stored. Fill your "bugbag" full of them.... You've got some "Gittin' even" to do later....
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Conduct himself in a manner becoming of his profession. Yea, right, so what does "becoming of his profession" mean? Your profession takes you to the worst part of town, at the most "un-Godly hours", where you do something that nobody else would even think of doing, to an object that most people would not even dare to approach... You may even have to MOUNT that object and have your "way" with it! Does that sound like a "manner becoming his profession" to most people...? I didn't THINK so! So how do you prepare yourself for this one? Well, you can about bet that most people don't have a clue as to what a Professional Lineman does or what is "becoming of his profession". The term is used freely by those that would like to see you quit getting caught at whatever you got caught doing. So, to make it look like you understand their concern, tell them that you "..agree whole-heartedly and will definitely handle the situation differently the next time"! That leaves them with the realization that you expect the same thing to happen again, and to tell you the truth, they can't imagine how it could get any better.... Let'em worry......
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should:
- Help educate those that are alien to what a Powerlineman does. The first thing you think of here, of course, is the general public. You know, Joe Blow and Soccer Mom out there that only know that the lights come on when they flip the switch. But you have to remember that people that work in the very same "Industry" may need a little help understanding the work of a Lineman too. Take for instance, a Generation guy or a Substation guy. They know a bunch about electricity, but they sometimes misunderstand that the link between the Plant and the Substation is a whole different world from theirs. For example, let's take the sites themselves. The Generation guy works at a site that has a controlled atmosphere. So controlled in most cases that there's a guard at the gate. The Substation guy has a tall chain link fence around nearly all of his sites, thus limiting access to all of his substation stuff. The Lineman however, has anything but a controlled site for his stuff. Instead of being company-owned property, it's public domain. Instead of keeping unauthorized people out, it lets anyone and everyone in. If you can get them to understand how big of a difference this is as far as keeping your goodies up and running, they may understand what you're up against. Tell them it's kind of like setting up your bedroom in the middle of a busy city intersection, and then trying to start a family. Not only are people constantly right in the middle of your stuff, occasionally driving their car through your main supports thus interrupting the flow of things, they have the nerve to tell you to get your bed the hell out of the way!
To give the appearance of being a Professional, a Power Lineman should: "What?"
HAVE ANYTHING TO AD?
This is only a few examples of Power Line Etiquette. I’m sure I have left out some of the more important ones. Contributions from Power Linemen are encouraged to help complete the Power Line Etiquette, and may be submitted to OlPoop@cdthayer.com for consideration and possible inclusion in this list. CD reserves the rights to edit, modify, tweak, re-phrase or omit any suggestions received. Credits for each accepted entry will NOT be given for any particular entry, but instead, will be limited to an inclusion in the "Contributors" list in small letters at the bottom of the page, consisting of the person’s name and email address only. Only one entry in the "Contributors" list will be given per person regardless of the number of suggestions accepted. Sending a contribution via email constitutes the giving of your permission to publish your suggestion, name and email address at this web site. Inclusion of name and email address will be withheld from the "Contributors" list upon request that is specifically noted in your email submission. Please include the words "Power Line Etiquette Suggestion" in the subject area of your email to help route your entry. Keep your suggestions in the form of a humorous, non-threatening nature and avoid the use of extreme profanity, or personal attack against a person, race, sex or occupation.
CONTRIBUTORS LIST:
CD Thayer OlPoop@cdthayer.com *IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER INFORMATION. THE INFORMATION IN "Power Line Etiquette" IS STRICTLY FOR AMUSEMENT AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, AND SHOULD NOT BE MISCONCEIVED AS BEING ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT. BY NO MEANS SHOULD ANY OF THIS INFORMATION BE TAKEN AS ACTUAL TRAINING BY OR FOR INDIVIDUALS FOR THE PURPOSE OF PERSONAL PREPARATION TO PERFORM POWERLINE WORK. IT IS EXPRESSED AND SHOULD BE UNDERSTOOD THAT COMMENTS, INSTRUCTIONS AND OBSERVATIONS IN THIS MATERIAL MAY BE FICTITIOUS AND WITHOUT VALIDITY. ALL COMMENTS AND REFERENCES ARE INTENDED TO BE TAKEN WITHOUT OFFENSE TO ANYONE.
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